Not Good Enough

I guess that wasn't really good enough for me. I wanted really bad to pretend it was so that I wouldn't feel hurt, but it hurt me anyway.  I am independent, I am not someone else's puppet no matter what people think. I refuse to be. I also don't want to feel like something is there that isn't there, and since there's nothing there, I'm going to stop faking like there is. Maybe someday there will be, and we will wait and see.  I want to be with him, more than anything, but I refuse to put myself through hell to hold on to him when it's clear he doesn't want me holding on.