NOTHING SERIOUS

The last thing a girl wants to hear when she REALLY like's a guy is that he doesn't want anything serious. That he just wants to have fun. I can do fun! I guess I'm just the kind of girl that wants serious. I want someone who wants me. Is that too much to ask? Or am I just unlucky enough to always like the ones that don't want what I want? Also, should I just do fun? Or should I let it go knowing that that is not all I want and that he may never come around? Ugh. Life's complications make me wonder: What's the point?

I want

Something’s not right,

Everything feels wrong,

I say the all the wrong things,

Can’t take this for long.

I give in too easily,

I don’t fight for my needs,

I let you walk all over me,

I always follow, never lead.

I need certain things,

Like being told how you feel,

To be held when I’m crying,

And reassured that this is real.

I’m done appologizing,

When I’ve done nothing wrong,

For needing you to do more,

For not being your kind of strong.

If you don’t want a future,

If you’re not in this for keeps,

Then I’m not the right girl,

We’ll never take that leap.

I cannot be the only one,

Who makes it’s worthwhile to stay,

I can’t be putting my heart on the table,

If you don’t feel the same way.

I WANT your forever,

I want you to be mine,

But if you’re not convinced,

It might take more than just time.

If it’s meant to be,

We will figure all of this out,

It feels like you don’t think it is,

And I just don’t know how.

I’m in love with you,

Whether you feel this way or not,

I want to be your girl forever,

There is no second thought.

I may be insecure sometimes,

Not sure of what we should do,

But I have no doubts at all,

That I’m meant to be with you.

Down

Why is it that I only feel the need to talk when I am hurting? Anyways, he's breaking my heart. I thought we were good, thought we would last, thought we'd make it. I would go to the ends of the earth for him. It never occurred to me that he didn't feel the same way. He isn't happy. I feel like he's only unhappy because of everything ELSE in his life. Yet he is going to give me up because he blames me for him being unhappy. I've given up a lot to make this relationship work. Things that I can't get back. I want to let him go have his time to discover himself and what he wants, I want to tell him to do that and when he has figured it out to come back to me, but the truth is, just as sure as I am that I might not be there, I am sure he wouldn't come back. He hasn't even left yet, and I'm already broken hearted, and praying that he will come back with time. Maybe I lost him a long time ago...

Let Go

The hardest thing to do in life, is to let go of the one thing you love, just to see if it will come back to you. You hold on so tight for so long, and when you loosen your hold you fear the worst: that the love of your life will never come back. I may let go completely, but I pray he will come back and not forget me.

Cave In - Kree Woods

Stay, just a little bit longer.
Staring straight at me but your mind wanders,
i know you're thinking about her,
you always were.

could you wait, give me just a few more minutes
and maybe i can figure out a way to fix this.

cave in crumble all around me
don't try to keep your distance,
colapse and let go,
give in, here is my solution
living in the ruins,
is all that i know
cave in to me
cave in to me

i need you to acknowledge
that there was at least a glimpse of right
in our wrongness

it felt so normal at times
and i swear i'll be fine
with the best that you can give me
consider the years that you've logged in
as i stand here and atone for what i did

cave in
crumble all around me
don't try to keep your distance,
collapse and let go
give in
here is my solution
living in the ruins
is all that i know
cave in to me

sure she is stable with her stone foundation
secure in herself such an easy decision
though i so quickly fall to pieces
collecting broken things has always been your weakness
cave in crumble all around me
don't try to keep your distance
collapse and let go
give in here is my solution
living in the ruins
is all that we know
cave in to me
cave in to me

Be Still - The Fray

If you forget the way to go
And lose where you came from
If no one is standing beside you
Be still and know I am

two hours later....

I spent two hours writing something I won't even post. I won't settle, I won't waste my time, but I will wait if it's the right one.

Pink - Perfect

Pretty pretty please,
Don't you ever ever feel,
Like you're less than,
Less than perfect.
Pretty pretty please,
If you ever ever feel,
Like you're nothin,
You are perfect to me.

Fight With Yourself

One would think a fight with yourself would be the most evenly matched fight in the world. That's just not the case. I'd rather fight anyone than myself. I'm my own worst enemy, an enemy I sometimes can't beat. I bring myself lower than anybody else ever could. I let myself go there. I lose to myself, and in doing so, I never really win.

I WILL

I will NEVER change who I am for someone else.
I will NEVER pretend to be someone I'm not.
I will NEVER settle for less than I want or deserve.
I will NEVER forget how I've gotten to where I am.
I will NEVER stop laughing.
I will NEVER quit doing what makes me happy.
I will NEVER deny someone a second chance.
I will ALWAYS forgive, and I will ALWAYS love with all that I am.

Dear Purple Sparkly Sequin Box

CONQUERED!!  I know that it has been 3 years... And I should have done this sooner, but I finally conquered that purple sparkly sequin box. The box is empty, but I am not, I feel fantastic, and that box is no longer so incredibly sad.