You CANNOT order a person off of a menu. People cannot be customized.
Just imagine: “I’d like a tall, thin woman, extra large boobs, hold the feelings and the baggage.” To some people, this is the IDEAL situation, but to the average human being, this sounds ridiculous, yet this is what we expect in most situations by asking people to change or pressuring people into acting differently.
People are package deals. Not just those that call themselves “package deals” because they have a kiddo from a previous relationship. I mean EVERYONE is a package deal. My body and my feelings are a PACKAGE. You cannot have one and exclude the other. Nor can you exclude my humor, my knowledge, my compassion or my past. I come as one whole person. Not bits and pieces that you can pick and choose to love or hate.
To love—and I mean truly love, not just be infatuated with or be “into” or whatever—you must accept and learn to love the WHOLE person. Flaws, scars, histories...the works. To those people who are not interested in “relationships”: get real. Whether you’re dating, sleeping together, “friends with benefits”, or friends, that IS a relationship! Every connection to another person is a RELATIONSHIP. So, when you say you’re not looking for a “relationship”, what you're really saying is “the relationship I’d like to have with you involves me choosing exactly which interactions we will have, which parts of your entirety we need to exclude, and which feelings are allowed.” Nobody wants to say that let alone hear that. So we simply say no to “relationships”.
If you only want the physical piece of the package deal, take care of it yourself. Because regardless of what a girl (or a guy if they’re being honest) says, there are ALWAYS feelings involved somewhere.
If you go on vacation, and everything (regardless of whether you want it or not) is included in the price, not only is the value higher, but the likelihood that you’ll at least attempt to appreciate everything you’ve paid for grows as well. RELATIONSHIPS WORK THIS WAY TOO!! If you look at a “relationship” as all-inclusive, and you put in the work, you’re raising the value of the person you are with simply by saying “I’m willing to give more because I want all of you”. Sounds simple right?
So, the relationship is all-inclusive, and the person is a package deal. NO ALL-INCLUSIVE PACKAGE DEAL IS CHEAP! So don’t treat them that way. You’re not going to get the best when you’re not giving your best, period.
