I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. -Philippians 4:11-13
At church, the kiddos have a memory verse every month, this is mine. I refuse NOT to be content, I refuse to take my life and my family and friends for granted. I refuse NOT to be happy. I am content, and I am calm.
I pray every night to be guided to the right thing to do, the right path to take, the right things to say. I pray that I can find peace with my situation, with my past. No matter what I do, my past is a part of me. I've lost a lot of friends and loved ones because of it, but I can't let that keep me from seeking out people who will accept me regardless of my past. I am who I am because of everything that has happened to me, because of everything that I've gone through. I have accepted the things that have happened to me. I have cried and I have prayed, and I have learned from all that has happened. Now, my challenge, is to find peace with how that past affects other people.
Things change, I know that. People change, I know that too. I just want peace when these things change. I want reassurance that the decisions that were made were the right ones. I want to know that I am doing all I can to further His plan. Heartbreak happens, pain happens, abuse happens, I will grow, and learn, and find peace.
